Confessions of a Dying Man (V1 P11)

man-praying-27977497From the moment that we exit our mother’s womb and begin our life outside the womb – our physical life here on earth – we are dying. Physical life is finite. Whether you believe that it is a one and only experience or one of multiple reincarnated physical existences, it is a finite experience that comes to an end when we experience our physical death.

What does dying mean to me? It means different things at different stages in my life. In my early years through my twenties – it was something so far off of my daily radar that I doubt if I spent five minutes a week dwelling on it. Now, in my early fifties, it is something that inevitably comes closer each day and yet is not as feared as it was in my thirties/forties. My preparation for the inevitable physical world death experience is to embrace “this” life as much as I can while I still can. And in doing so, to prepare my spirit for the next realm and whatever it may hold for “me”.

My priorities have shifted over the years. My intent now is to evolve my spirit as much as possible in this lifetime and in doing so making a true impact on those that I love. I have worked from within a series of concentric circles – like the rings of a tree – from the inside to the outside. Focusing first on my core circle, my closest group – God/Higher Power, spouse/children, mother/siblings, etc. – and then working outwards to friends/other family/community/co-workers, etc. Through a perpetual series of self-assessment I try to make sure that I am evolving in a positive manner and making an impact on my life, the life of those closest to me, and others through acts of kindness and being genuine and sincere in my thoughts, words and actions.

I truly know that I have a place in this world, that my actions and words can change my life and further the evolution of my spirit, that others will play a role in this evolution – I just have to listen to the signs, that intent will morph into manifestation and my life’s purpose will unfold before me – it has no choice.

As a dying man – I am a seeker, a practitioner, a perpetual learner, a curious student, a willing teacher when applicable, a being of light. I see all others as demonstrating or having the ability to demonstrate these same traits and characteristics. One only has to look within in order to find the way, the truth, and the light.

I am excited for this physical experience, grateful for it, know that I am blessed to experience it – but know in my heart that the enduring and everlasting life of the spirit is the more sacred and blessed experience. For this I cherish the thought of my life’s quest. I look forward to the next state of my spirit life with anticipation while also doing all that I can to make this physical life’s purpose a successful and fruitful one. I get off track, to be sure, as my striving towards perfection is an unattainable peak from which the space between allows for many trials, travails, pitfalls, distractions and “human error”.

My confession includes being human and with fault, being less than perfect, falling short in many areas and during many times in my life, hurting others when I have fallen short, hurting myself when I have fallen short. All part of dying on the vine – withering while trying to evolve. I feel refreshed that I have been able to self-acknowledge many of these “sins” of my physical life and feel as though the furtherance of my spirit at each point of reflection on these faults has brought me to some sort of inflexion point.

Is it strange to embrace the next spiritual existence while in the midst of the current physical existence? My yearning and hopeful continuous evolution feels like a launch pad from one to the other. My daily prayer, reflective thought, mantras, meditation, etc. has brought me to the point at which I now reside.

I confess to not always knowing the way, but I continue to ask God to show me the way. I confess to less than stellar behavior at times in my life, but I continue to break down the walls of my ego and see that it is ok to not be right and to admit to being wrong and ask for forgiveness. I confess to being stubborn and insistent for less than good reasons at times, but I am willing to change and embrace the universe and its continual signs and guidance in order to do so. I open myself up to the infinite and abundant knowledge of the universe and ask that I be allowed to partake in all of its wisdom in order to take me through my life’s journey in the most “productive” manner.

Specific to this life’s journey and to the evolution of our spirits – the eternal quest: If you have words of wisdom, of encouragement – please send them my way. If you need some positive reinforcement and I can assist you in any way – just let me know. Ask and you shall receive.

The end point of this finite physical life is unknown to me and to you. It will come, however. From birth to death and then to the space between – embrace it all.

KGM

 

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